Laugh It Up, It’s Good For Your Heart
I read awhile back that people who laugh often are likely to live longer and have less of a chance of dying from a heart attack. I don’t know the actual science behind it and I honeslty don’t care what makes laughing healthy. I just know that I enjoy it just as much as the next guy. Below are a few jokes…to help you live a little bit longer. The Jokes are brought to you by Amazingjokes.com and they are a bit dirty…just remember their jokes. Enjoy!
Little Tony was staying with his grandmother for a few days.
He’d been playing outside with the other kids for a while when he came into the house and asked her, ‘ Grandma, what ’s that called when two people sleep in the same room and one is on top of the other?
She was a little taken aback, but she decided to tell him the truth. ‘ It’s called sexual intercourse, darling. ‘
Little Tony said, ‘ Oh, OK, ‘ and went back outside to play with the other kids.
A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, ‘ Grandma, it isn’t called sexual intercourse. It’s called Bunk Beds. And Jimmy’s Mum wants to talk to you. ‘
In a Chicago hospital, a gentleman had made several attempts to get into the men’s restroom, but it had always been occupied.
A nurse noticed his predicament.
Sir, she said ‘ You may use the ladies room if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on the wall.’
He did what he needed to, and as he sat there he noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch.
Each button was identified by letters: WW, WA , PP, and a red one labelled ATR.
Who would know if he touched them?
He couldn’t resist.. He pushed WW. Warm water was sprayed gently upon his bottom. What a nice feeling, he thought. Men’s restrooms don’t have nice things like this. Anticipating greater pleasure, he pushed the WA button. Warm air replaced the warm water, gently drying his underside. When this stopped, he pushed the PP button. A large powder puff caressed his bottom adding a fragile scent of spring flower to this unbelievable pleasure.. The ladies restroom was more than a restroom, it is tender loving pleasure. When the powder puff completed its pleasure, he couldn’t wait to push the ATR button which he knew would be supreme ecstasy. Next thing he knew he opened his eyes, he was in a hospital bed, and a nurse was staring down at him.
‘What happened?’ he exclaimed. The last thing I remember was pushing the ATR button.
‘The button ATR is an Automatic Tampon Remover. Your penis is under your pillow.’
A man in Phoenix calls his son in New York two days before Thanksgiving and says,”I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.
“Pop, what are you talking about?” the son screams. We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer,” the father says. “We’re sick of each other, and I’m sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her.”
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. “Like heck they’re getting divorced,” she shouts, “I’ll t ake care of this,”
She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at her father, “You are NOT getting divorced. Don’t do a single thing until I get there. I’m calling my brother back, and we’ll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don’t do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?” and hangs up. The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. “Okay,” he says, “they’re coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way.”
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