At What Age Is It The Right Time To Have "The Talk" With Your Children?
I’m kind of reaching out and trying to get an idea here. When I was a child I was exposed to some things at a younger age than I probably should have been. With an older brother and sister and sometimes finding my father’s nudie mag’s, I feel that I learned things a lot earlier than most kids. My parents never had “The Talk” with me and I pretty much learned things on my own and from overhearing the older siblings and other older kids. No body every had the official talk with me about the birds and the bees and everything in between. Getting to the title question.
This is kind of strange sharing this with the rest of the world, but I would like to see other people opinions on this and see exactly where it leads me to make my decision and get the courage up to have “The Talk” with him. So my son is 10 years old. He’s still not at that point where he will admit to liking girls, but sometimes I tease him about like ‘Carly’ from the Disney Channel’s ‘iCarly’. He gets frustrated with a huge smile on his face like he doesn’t like it but I’ve been there and I know inside he’s got a crush on her.
Anyway, My wife called me the other day at work and explained to me that she went to my son’s room and he was watching TV under the covers and she thinks he was playing with himself (I don’t know if it was just self touching or masturbating because I don’t think he would know how to). She briefly talks to him and tells him that he shouldn’t be doing it but she knows little boys will be little boys and he probably will anyway. She asks me to talk to him about it and explain everything but I haven’t even told him that Santa Clause isn’t real yet, so how the hell do I tell him about the miracle of life, about being a little boy and the do’s and don’ts?
So when did you have ‘The talk’ with your children and/or what do you think is the appropriate age?
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4 opinions for At What Age Is It The Right Time To Have "The Talk" With Your Children?
randy
Aug 7, 2008 at 9:32 am
Scott,
First, I wonder why your wife would tell him that,in the privacy of his own room with the sheet over his head, he shouldn’t “touch himself.” If he’s getting fresh into puberty - or even if he isn’t - maybe his first lesson shouldn’t be that he should be ashamed of himself or his natural urges.
As far as the talk, I was given that at around age 11 or 12, pretty much in conjunction with sex ed at school. I was pretty comfortable with the science of the matter by the time my parents got involved, and so was pretty comfortable talking about the more human aspects with them.
Good luck! I have a 10 year old daughter at home, and she emphatically does not want to discuss it. So, we’re giving her some time and sneaking in our feelings on the subject in the meanwhile.
Scott
Aug 7, 2008 at 9:48 am
Thanks, Randy. I’ve been giving it a lot of thought, but just haven’t brought myself to talk to him about it. I’m not sure what the school system here teaches or when they begin that, but I want to be the one to make him aware of most things before he get’s into it. He asked where babies come from about a year and a half ago after our daughter was born and we told him ask again in about a year. He has asked again since then but we kind of put it off and I don’t want to put it off any longer.
Dexie
Aug 7, 2008 at 3:56 pm
Randy, my husband forgot to add that I told our son not to do it when his sister is in his room playing. That’s actually what I told him :). Making him feel ashame of his natural urges is the last message I wanted him to learn. We have a 2 yr old daughter who happens to like wandering around her brother’s room all the time. It’s kinda hard to convey that message in a blog without anybody putting malice into it :).
Karen Lynch
Aug 7, 2008 at 10:23 pm
This is such a hot topic for me right now. We’ve already had two talks with our eight year old — the first after he saw a nude woman on the cover of GQ magazine and wondered (1) why they put a naked woman on the cover of a magazine (2) what sex was and (3) what ‘love and sex’ had to do with a naked lady. (Yes, he can read, and it was at kid eye level in the grocery store).
I think we have to answer their questions when they have them … and remember that boys should be talked to before puberty hits. Once they’re in puberty, it’s too late for any conversations. At least that’s what my mother told me!
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